My personal testimony
Left to right
Father Serjeant (self), Father Willard, Father Hewitt
The year is 1954, the place - a street in Leytonstone, in east London, the occasion - the Feast of St. Margaret. As assistant priest in the parish, I was dressed in a dalmatic over a lace-trimmed alb, with a biretta on my head. Holding the Vicar's cope and singing "Hail Mary, Hail Mary, Hail Mary full of grace!" as the procession, led by three thurifers swinging incense, progressed to the parish church for a High Mass and solemn exposition of the 'Host'. It was the high point of our church's year, when we were joined by Anglo-Catholics from all over east London and the eastern counties of England.
(Dalmatic - embroidered overgarment : Alb - full length white linen vestment : biretta - three bladed hat worn by priests : thurifer - incense bearing assistant : cope - cloak shaped embroidered vestment. See p1302 Websters Dictionary)
The year is 1998, the place - a Women's Institute Hall in Weymouth, the occasion - the ordination and induction of the first Pastor of newly established Independent (Reformed) Evangelical Church. I was chairing the meeting. I was dressed in a dark grey suit with collar and tie. It fell to me to conduct the ordination and preach the word, and with other ministers, to lay hands on and set apart a man to the Ministry of the Word and induct him their first pastor.
The contrast could scarcely be greater, but it illustrates the goodness and the persevering grace of God with one of His undeserving and wayward children.
My Early Years
I was born in 1928 into a family as one of twins with three other brothers and one sister. None of my family were Christians, though we had all been 'christened'. I gained a place at a local grammar school and at aged 16 having matriculated I left school with an electrical engineering scholarship with what would now be called an electronics firm. My first two years was to be in practical experience in the drawing office and workshops. It was at this time I was drawn to read the Bible. I did so over a period of about a year. The Bible had been given to my mother as Sunday School prize. Reading the Gospels I came to believe that Christ was the Son of God and that He died on the cross and rose again. In looking back, it would seem that I came to "historical faith", but it is doubtful whether it was "saving faith". One thing is clear - I was under conviction of sin. I knew that I was a sinner and that I needed God's forgiveness.
At this point I attended a local Church of England church and confided in the Vicar. It was a "high" church - but I knew nothing of these things. The Vicar suggested that the best way to be sure of God's forgiveness was to "make my confession". This I did - and he "pronounced my absolution" and I believed myself forgiven by God. The only trouble was that I swiftly fell into committing many of the sins that I had confessed and that I needed to go again and again to confession to get an assurance of forgiveness. I was prepared for Confirmation and duly confirmed and admitted to communion.
One day I heard from a friend that the National Young Life Campaign was holding a tent mission nearby. I attended out of curiosity. They were "non-conformists" so they did not know the best of ways as Christians! However, I heard a young man preach - he was probably only a year or two older than myself. His text was Psalm 34.8 "O taste and see that the LORD is good. Blessed is the man that trusteth in Him." The message made clear that salvation was through faith in Jesus Christ. My response was that I agreed with the message (i.e. I agreed with it in my mind ) and that my twin brother should hear this!
"A Call to the Priesthood"
Shortly after, I came to believe that God was calling me into the ministry of the church i.e. the priesthood. I announced this to my parents. My father immediately opposed such ideas - in no way should I jeopardise my future prospects of becoming a graduate engineer!
At about this time, I was 17, nearly 18, an Anglican Franciscan friar known as Brother Michael SSF, came to lead a "Mission" at the church. I was greatly impressed by the devotion and commitment of the Franciscan way of life. I visited the Friary in Dorset and to cut long story short, became a Franciscan oblate under vows of poverty, chastity and obedience for a period of three years.
I was accepted for ordination by the Church of England and resigned my scholarship. My father was furious and told me to leave home. I spent a short time in Community life at the Friary at Batcombe, near Cerne Abbas, Dorset, and was known as Brother Lawrence. Oblate.SSF. It was after this that I was conscripted into the army.
I served just over two years in the Royal Artillery learning amongst other things something about leadership and army teaching methods. Which, in the providence of God were to prove valuable. Most of my army experience however, was more negative than positive. Army Chaplains, I discovered, were for the most part worldly, not godly. I learnt to drink alcohol - beer usually, to my shame, sometimes to excess. Even so, I endeavoured to keep the Franciscan "rule of life". My failures and shortcomings (i.e. sins) being dealt with through "making my confession to a priest".
On my release from the army I returned to the Community for about a year, working in the Friary kitchen as a cook. I then sought acceptance at a University to read theology and train for the priesthood. There was a queue of men who served in the 1939-45 war still waiting to gain entrance and that meant I too had to wait. I had a grant from the Church of England but not nearly enough to see me through a degree course. So whilst waiting for a place I became a coal-miner! I trained at Barnsley Main colliery in Yorkshire and worked at Doncaster for very high pay in a three-foot seam with a few inches of water. I did this for the best part the next year and then was accepted at King's College London - the largest theological faculty in Britain. During this time, whilst continuing to hold to Anglo-Catholic beliefs and practices - my New Testament Professor was Professor R.G.V.Tasker. One thing is indicative to me of the elective purposes of God in my life, was the continuing love of the Bible which I had all through this time from those early days when I first read it. Professor Tasker opened the Bible in a wonderful way, especially in small seminars. I recall him exhorting me to go and hear a certain non-conformist called Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones at the Friday evening meetings at Westminster Chapel. I remember complying with his wish and sitting in the gallery there. I was impressed by the way the Scriptures were opened up - but I could not abide the man's theology - he was not only a non-conformist but evidently a Calvinist!
What I bless God for most from my King's College studies was the New Testament Greek and Old Testament Hebrew that I learnt. After a postgraduate (4th) year in Pastoral Theology I was duly ordained Deacon in Chelmsford Cathedral, to serve in an Anglo-Catholic parish. A year later I was ordained priest. In God's providence it was there that I met the girl who was to be my wife - I fell in love with the Vicar's daughter Mary and happily, she with me!
I moved to a second curacy in Dorset. We were married and our first son Timothy was born. In this period I began to question the relevance of all the "churchianity" of high-church Anglicanism. Especially so in the light of the scriptures. We were not long in that parish when I was offered the 'living' of St Luke's Reigate. Being now the Vicar rather than a mere Curate - I felt that I could now see a church built up in a good and better way. My second and third son were born in the Vicarage there.
Frustrations of "churchianity"
My hopes of seeing the church built up were frustrated by the "churchianity" of my congregation. One of the early Billy Graham Crusades took place at that time and I was approached to include my church in the local arrangements. I made a minimal commitment to the arrangements, but through the materials used for "counselling" etc. I was challenged again concerning the nature of "saving faith" and the basic doctrine of justification by faith. I knew at this time that I was a "born-again" believer and that I must move the church in the direction of an "evangelical" church. As one might expect - this did not occur without opposition.
I came to feel that this "middle-class" conservative area was not one in which changes were easily made. I also had a desire now to take the gospel to an inner-city area. The Bishop of Southwark invited me to be Vicar of St Peter's Battersea. This was the Clapham Junction area of south London. A slum-clearance, new high-rise flat area, with a large influx of immigrants. The church building would hold 1,000 and there were about a dozen worshippers on Sunday morning.
Strange Happenings
It was in this parish that I joined with some other clergy in a prayer-group for revival. In a short period of time we began to hear of strange things that were happening in the U.S.A. An Episcopalian Rector called Dennis Bennet had known a personal experience of the Holy Spirit and had "spoken in tongues!" This had spread in his congregation. Our Bishop invited him to come to speak to our group. Meanwhile a curate of John Stott (a well-known evangelical in the Church of England even then) - Michael Harper - also shared similar things with us, and the Fountain Trust was formed as an inter-church Charismatic organisation to further this "work of the Spirit".
I was persuaded of the truth of the "Baptism of the Holy Spirit" as a separate experience subsequent to regeneration. I sought it ardently - and one evening in prayer "spoke in tongues" or so I believed. Mary was not too enthusiastic! She had "gone along" with me in my evangelical "leanings", but this was a bit over the top!
Work in the parish was extended with outreach to heroin addicts - something new on the London scene. Two curates joined the staff with a lady parish worker. The next-door parish church had been closed and it was amalgamated with mine. This made it one of the largest parishes in England. In a 'flu epidemic, I conducted 14 funerals a day for three days in succession!
My connections with the (charismatic) Fountain Trust continued. I became the ministry secretary and found myself taking part in various conferences and meetings. In this period I met with some of the well-known charismatic leaders not only in Britain but from the U.S. South Africa and elsewhere. Through my conference connections with men from outside the C of E I was challenged by the need to bring everything to the bar of Scripture. One result was that I was persuaded that baptism was by immersion and for believers only! I was duly baptised by a Baptist minister friend and joined the "Baptismal Reform group" which then existed in the C of E. From that time on, I 'baptised' no babies - but offered instead a service of 'Naming and blessing'.
After a few years I found myself becoming a "burnt-out case". I knew it was time to move on. Indicating my thoughts to my Bishop, I was offered the Rectory of West Mersea, Essex.. Here I was following an evangelical Rector, though the congregation was very mixed.
Leaving the Church of England
During my time at Mersea I became more and more frustrated at the formalism of Church of England worship. I was distressed too by the fact that I was "unequally yoked" to a Bishop, Archdeacon and Rural Dean, none of whom appeared to believe in the Virgin Birth or the Resurrection of our Lord. It was all too evident that they did not see the need "to be born again". In 1975 the Church of England Synod decided that Clergy should no longer be required to make a vow of assent to the 39 Articles. By this time in my pilgrimage, I had come across some Banner of Truth publications and notably I read, and was greatly influenced by, A.W. Pink's book "The Sovereignty of God". Now that the C of E no longer held to the 39 Articles I knew that I must "resign my living" as Rector of a parish and leave the Church of England. I found this a very difficult decision to make and in God's dealings with me I came near to a "breakdown". A series of events in the parish precipitated my decision. I could not in good conscience remain in a "denomination" which evidently was reliquishing it's Biblical Reformation foundations.
The Restoration Movement
With three boys still at school, I resigned the living and we moved to a small terrace cottage in north Essex. I returned to University and gained a B.Ed. (Hons) degree and looked to do independent church planting work whilst supporting myself as a teacher. I taught Religious Education in Comprehensive Schools. In this period I was involved in the "Restoration movement" and came to know most of the national leaders. Arthur Wallis had been a friend since my early Fountain Trust days, he introduced me to some of these leaders.
I broke with the Restoration movement House churches over the issue of "heavy shepherding" coupled with "Kingdom now - triumphalism". I also became very disillusioned with the charismatic movement. I had to question the reality of the "manifestation of the gifts". Increasingly I came back to the Puritans and to "Reformed" teaching. I attended the Banner of Truth Conferences and was greatly helped. I came to the conviction that "Arminianism" is the root cause of many of the aberrations of evangelicalism today and must be countered by faithful Bible teaching, especially of the Doctrines of Grace.
Sola Gratia!
My final church before "retiring" was Hockley Evangelical Church. I was pastor there for 11 years. During the early years there I was asked to teach Computer Studies in the local Comprehensive. This led me to see the importance of encouraging good "Reformed (and Baptist!) materials on the Internet. So my present ministry in so-called 'retirement' was born - "Grace Gospel Software".
POSTSCRIPT
Having supposedly retired to Bridport in Dorset, where Mary and I joined the Baptist Church, after a few years the church set us apart to a church plant work in, of all places, Cerne Abbas! After spending a year in Bible teaching with a small prayer group there, a decision was made to establish a new church, which called me as their Pastor in May 2001. We have moved to a little village called Sydling St Nicholas, which is in the next valley to the Cerne Valley. A very beautiful spot - but don't tell everybody!
This ministry I, by God's grace, continue in. We moved the church meeting place in 2003 to Dorchester - our county town. We meet in the YMCA Hall by the Sportground near TESCO's. You may visit the church website at: www.gracebaptistchurch.org.uk There you can read about our church and see a map to help you find us.
It has been a winding path, for my wife Mary and myself, from belief in transubstantiation, for example, to Sola Gratia, Sola Fide, Sola Scriptura. But God is good! He is the God of all grace to me, in Jesus my Lord. To Him be all the glory. Amen.
Frederick Serjeant
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If you have questions or comments about my testimony - please Email me.
Frederick Serjeant@grace-gospel.org